“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
-Paulo Coelho
-Paulo Coelho
I love that quote. I am not really sure why, because I have lots of problems and/or thoughts about it.
1. Everyone judges. It is human nature. I am sure (and, this is totally a judgement call) even Mother Theresa judged at some point in her life. We can gently remind ourselves not to, or internally ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do?" But, alas, we are not divine. We are sinners, and sinners, well, they sin. Repeatedly, even.
2. Yes, everyone does carry their on pain. We all know this. But, more often than not, we get too wrapped up in our own stuff to really care about someone else's. I am lucky enough to count certain individuals as my dear friends, who, in fact, have the amazing capacity to NOT do this to a large degree. They are very empathetic, and compassionate to boot. But, I can't help but wonder why or how. Particularly, because some of them have a lot going on with their own load. Maybe it is just a subconscious way for them to deflect from all of their own garbage. I don't think this makes them any less sincere, I'm just saying that no one does something for nothing. Even if it's just to get a warm fuzzy feeling. See?
3. A second thought on the whole 'cross to bear' thing is this...Is it just me, or is their a stark difference between pain we inflict onto ourselves by a series of ill-made decisions and a lack of learning a darned thing from the mistakes that we have made along the way and things that bring us pain through no fault of our own, things that are out of our earthly control and left to God to sort out? Here's where my empathy usually ends for someone. Mistakes, which we ALL make, are wonderful little opportunities for us to learn and grow from. Take them for what they are and use them to your advantage. Think of them as a small gift from above. If you think you've been dealt a raw deal, think of ways that you can change it and make it better. Even if you have to hide a few cards under the table. Change your attitude and perspective on things. So many times we have the power to do this and just don't! All we do is b**ch and moan and whine until we move onto the next thing. Free will is a powerful tool, if used properly!
4. Next, we come to the whole righteousness dilemma. I am, unfortunately, a VERY self-righteous person. I try not to be. But here's the deal, what I'm doing seems to work. So, I tend to project my 'way' onto others. I am a pretty intelligent and educated person. I KNOW that my way isn't the only way, but (and, this is a big but) if you see someone in a constant state of crisis, and no matter what they try to do, nothing seems to be falling into place, they make the same mistakes over and over, they self-pity enormously, they blame others to a fault, and still can't snap it together, how can I not feel righteous. Another sin, I know! But, seriously?! I am not preachy. I tend to harbor my opinions to myself, outside of the cyber world, unless I am asked something directly, and then, I feel I owe it to you to give an honest answer. And, sometimes, honesty hurts. I personally know this to be true. But, when you dust yourself off from the blow of truth, aren't you glad to have gotten it? Above all else, this is what I want my friends and family to count on me for. Honesty. What I'm circumventing here is, that I think my honesty and pride (yet, another sin) sometimes gives me a self-righteous rap.
Well, that's all I'm going to say on the subject.
But, I really do love that quote, and I REALLY do try to remind myself of that often.
Believe it or not...
Late-uh!
who needs those stinky daddies?
