Lifted up.

I have convinced myself, as of late, that no one really reads this, and thus have silently slunk away. 

If you couldn't tell. 

But, lately, I've been inspired to keep up with my old friend, the blog.

Mostly because of a group of lovely people on Instagram. 

I have found a niche of lovely people that have become more than just a community of like minded 'techie-nerds', but more like an interweb family.

Oh, if only we could all fly to the same place and spend a day in the sun together...

Now wouldn't that be lovely?

Life has been more than distracting lately.  I am having a hard time keeping up with 'older' kids and all of their sports and school commitments.  Which is ironic considering we limit activities, sports, and clubs to one thing a season/semester.  We have approached a time when seasons overlap for several weeks, and games and practices have become to numerous to talk about.

Is it wrong that I would be perfectly content if they wanted to stay home and read books?  Ha!

Which is strange since I was VERY active in my adolescence both athletically and academically, and Big Daddy played numerous sports and continued with football in college.  I like to refer to my mom style as vintage parenting rather than lazy parenting.  That's seems fair.  The whole 'keep it simple, stupid' phrase is constantly resonating in my head every time I'm approached with a new sign up sheet. 

Alas, it makes them happy to play, and participate, and learn.  They get fantastic grades, and are good kids.  I don't get to decide everything for them, even though I wished I could. 

Life is fast, and I can only slow down so much.  We must be doing something right if I hear them say CONSTANTLY that their friends get video games whenever they want, have cell phones, TVs in their rooms, etc.  The pace here is slower than outside of these walls, but certainly not as slow as when we were kids. 

Which all I can say, although not eloquently, is that is dumb. 

What's the rush?  Time robs us of so much already, why do we push it along? 

So, after all that rambling...I can safely say {disregard all the times I've said it before}, that I'm back. 

And this time, something feels different when I say it. 

Really.

The last birthday party...for awhile.

I'm all birthday'd out.  BUT...
my youngest, Rosie, is turning 5 in March. 

I cannot believe it. 

After much ado, she's decided on a county fair theme.

I've made it as far as the birthday outfit {which Crystal made}, and the invites which I did in Photoshop. 

That's it. 

Let's hope the invite provides some much needed decor/menu inspiration. 

Oh, and the fonts are all from Dafont.com, the clip art is from Just Something I Made, and the tickets were a dollar store find. 

Any ideas...

I have pies, jam, pickles, kettle corn, hot dogs, funnel cakes, chocolate cake, sack race, blue ribbons, blue grass music.  A petting zoo is out of the question, but I may dress the pups up as a cow and a pig.

HELP!

I'm too depressed about my baby turning 5 that I can't get creative.  The invites may be the best thing about the party. 

And, I can't have that, now, can I? 

Still keepin' on.

Okay, so I am still here. 

Barely.

And I've become a crazy coupon lady.

Barely.

With a little help from a friend {Crystal}, I am starting to see the light.

She is the kind of coupon girl I can respect and admire.  No shelf clearing, no binders of coupons {as in more than 1}, no hours upon hours spent researching until your eyeballs bleed, no driving to 29 different stores. 

My first coupon excursion yielded 3 jumbo packs of GoodNights, 2 Right Gaurd deodorants, 2 Axe body washes, 1 Glade scented oil candle with 3 candles, and 1 bottle of Zarbee's children's cough syrup for $38. 

Anyone who buys those darned GoodNights knows what a score that is.  It's almost like paying for the diapers and getting the rest free.  All at one store.  All products we use.  Nothing we didn't need. 

I mean you could argue I didn't need a candle, but my boys and dogs stink sometimes. 

Here's the breakdown:

• joined CVS rewards program which is super easy and free
• printed 2/$2 coupons, and 1/$1.50 coupon for the GoodNights
• printed 1/$1 coupon for the Glade
• printed 1/$2 coupon when you buy 2 Right Gaurd deodorants
• GoodNights were marked down at CVS to $9
• Right Gaurd yielded $2 CVS rewards when you bought 2
• Zarbee's was $6 with $6 in CVS rewards {basically, free}
• Axe body was was marked down to $2 or something fantastic {wish I still had my receipt}
• bought everything but 1 pack of GoodNight
• after the first transaction I had $8 in CVS rewards so I went back in and bought another pack of GoodNights for FREE after my rewards and a coupon

That's it. 

It took about 10 minutes.

Now, I'm mad at myself that I HAD to go the store yesterday, and forgot my coupons.  I felt like I wasn't using free money.  Who doesn't like free money?

I will be documenting my journey more, and hopefully my savings increase. 

So, if you want to play along, and become a non-threatening, not crazy, not shelf clearing, AWESOME coupon lady...I think this may be the place for you. 

I will also sharing any helpful hints that Crystal passes on to me. 

So, this could be fun...or not.  If you get all tingly when you see your final bill, then it will be fun.  If you have tons of money, and don't need to save any, then this could be the pits.  Either way, it could be entertaining.

I also will be having a really cool giveaway coming up from Novica.  If you aren't familiar, you should check them out.  They have some really beautiful stuff!  So, stay tuned!

**POST EDIT**
One binder is okay.  I am too familiar with the need to stay organized, but I have seen woman with THREE!  Is that really necessary?  Are there even that many coupons in the world to fill 3 2+ inch thick binders.  I think not.

I am going out on a limb here and saying that with 3 binders, you are probably buying things you don't really use/need.  Is that fair?

iPhonography: my 2 cents.

an ironically untouched iPhone photo

So, I'm sure there are a crap ton of people out there that are bored to death of overfiltered and overedited iPhone photos. 

I. Am. Not. One. Of. Them. 

Boy, I tell ya...as much as I love my big bangarang camera, my camera phone has saved my life in many a situation.  Literally, and figuratively.

This one time, my car died {yes, my husband is a mechanic...go figure} in a not-so-great area of town, and if I didn't have my phone, I probably would have been raped and pillaged.  Or, some nice passerby would have stopped to help. But, whatever...for the sake of drama, let's go with the former theory. M'kay?

Anywho, that derned camera phone is too accessible and functional for day to day life photography to be ignored. 

Don't get me started on all those bomb diggity apps to edit, filter, embellish, and bling out your pics.

In the strong case for iPhonography, I am a more is more kind of girl.  You can't add too much masking tape, or faux bokeh, or tilt shift.  I get crazy-giddy just thinking about it.

Seriously, my pulse is quickening as we speak. 

totally edited

So, for those of you that are on board...I will give you the long-short list of my favorite photo apps {in no particular order}:

1. Instagram...duh. 
2. Hipstamatic
3. Snapseed
4. Phonto
5. Labelbox
6. Big Lens
7. Diptic
8. PicFrame
9. maskingtape
10. Montage
11. LensLight
12. Camera+/Camera+ Pro
13. Smilebox
14. Dramatic B&W
15. Filterstorm

Good luck with your own iPhonography adventures! 

Tidbits.

I love this free clip art from Martha Stewart.  It is colorful, fun, and could be used for so, so, so much!

We are super addicted to clementines.  Are you?

It will be a sad day when the season is over.  Sad, indeed.

Betsy stands at the refrigerator and sniffs the fruit drawer until I get the hint.  It's redunkulous.

This certainly isn't the best photo, but that is the current progress of our master bathroom redo. 

Lots more to do, but I think it's pretty rad so far.

And, finally...

we are going on vacation to Destin!

We have never been anywhere with our whole family except Chicago and Trout Lodge {one hour from our house}, so this is super exciting.  I cannot wait for my kids to see the ocean.

If you have any tips on where to stay that has 2-seconds-to-get-there beach access, full kitchen, and a condo pool, or tips for traveling hours on end with littles in the car...please share.  We are very new to this. 

Ahhhhhhh...

Well, the holidays are over, and I feel I can breathe now that order has been loosely restored to the House of Grebe.  I had a post all worked out for today, but I have plum run out of time, and need to scoot off to pick up Rosie from school.

So, I thought I'd show you some of our 2011 family photos taken by my friend, Brenda.  She never disappoints. 

Also, I will have a giveaway coming up shortly, and lots of news, and funny little stories, as well as, our master bath reno to share.  I'm back, baby. 

Is it me? Or are those some of the cutest little humans you've ever seen?

Why, yes...yes, they are.

Peace out ladies and gents, and buckle up.  It's going to be a bumpy ride

Oh, and one more thing...you can find me on Pinterest and Instagram under Oddgirloutblog.  Fun, fun!

The most wonderful time of the year.

Things have been {for the most part} quite cheery around here.  I have had a stress headache for the last 4 days, but that is my own fault.  Betsy has been peeing on the potty at home A LOT!  Yippee!

Cookies are almost all baked, Harry Potter is on the tele.  Breakfast casseroles for tomorrow morning are up next. 

Sadly, my mom is sick, and probably won't be celebrating tidings of joy with us tomorrow, and maybe not even on Christmas day.  Which sucks, but what can you do?  When you're sick, you're sick.  Oh, and our washing machine is broken, and the part won't be in until next week. 

So, my sick mom has been doing my laundry.  I'm not sure what the hell she's thinking, but sometimes you just don't argue with your sick mother. 

Since this post has, sadly, taken a negative turn, I will also tell you I don't have any present wrapped, and still 3 more things to pick up tonight with all the crazies that will be out. 

We have made time for some Steak-n-Shake Happy Hour.  Which, I'll have to say, is better than Sonic's.  I will argue to the death about that with anyone, anytime, anywhere. 

I'm also ticked that I cropped the above photo the way I did.  I hardly ever crop, and I'm not sure why I did on this photo, but it was such a wonderful shot of my oldest's Lloyd Christmas hair.  The kid is almost 11, and really needs to start styling it.  Otherwise...Lloyd. 

In more uplifting news, the teacher gifts were a hit.

So, you see?  Things have actually been quite pleasant here as of late. 

Perspective, people.

And, finally, to bring this post about nothing to a close...
a big welcome to all the newest followers who found me via Young House Love.

I submitted our kitchen project awhile back, and was pleasantly surprised to see our remodel was featured on their blog-diggity yesterday HERE.  I have been enjoying all of the comments and questions.  Keep them coming.

I am also humbled at some of the wonderful emails I've been receiving about sharing Betsy's story.  If what our family has been through touches any one person, and makes them feel less alone, then this blog has accomplished just what I intended it do when it all started over 3 years ago. 

Thank you, thank you!

Thoughts...

**I wrote this on November 19th.  I wasn't going to publish it.  I've decided that I should.  I am leaving all the typos and spelling mistakes because I was in a fragile state of mind when I wrote it.  I think it should remain just as it is.  I am sure some think I whine too much, but I think it's important to know that tragedy to one person isn't necessarily tragedy to another.  My world has been forever changed, and I'm not sure I will ever get over it.  I try everyday.  It gets easier and easier everyday, but it is always there.  A little black spot on my heart.  The spot where I have laid to rest my idea of what I thought all of my childrens' lives would be like.  Every hope and dream I initially had for Betsy has been buried there, and in it's spot I have planted new hopes and dreams.  Different ones.  It is a learning process.  One step forward, two steps back.  Certain things trigger my mourning to surface all over again, and I quietly push those feeling back into their grave and dust myself off, and carry on.  Yes, I am selfish in that sadness.  I can admit that.  In those moments, I have to remind myself my sadness is pity for myself and the way I thought things would be, or should be.  I definitely have other worries and sadness when I think of what Betsy's future will hold.  Jake and I cannot be there for her forever, but my darkest times are when I let the evil of self-pity grip my broken heart.  Pray for me.  Pray for sweet, sweet Betsy.  And always remember...EVERYONE has a cross to bear.  No one is immune from that.**

So, I've been watching 'American Horror Story'.

Not much to report. I guess I'm still waiting for it to get as scary as everyone says it is.

But, that's not really what this post is about.

There is a character in the show named, Addi. She is an awesome person living with Down's Syndrome.

Jessica Lange plays her kind-of-psychotic-but-has-good-intentions mother. And she plays the role well.

In one of the episodes, she's upset with Addi. She asks her if she knows what people think when they see the two of them walk down the street together. She goes on to tell her that they think two things:

1. That they feel lucky they're not either of them.
2. That she {Jessica Lange} must be a hero.

I watched this episode in one of those rare, rare, rare instances that I was home alone, and I cried.

Like a baby.

I wondered if that's what people think when they see my Betsy and me.

Grateful, and full of pity.

I am no hero.

Jessica Lange's character goes onto to say, "As if I had a choice.".

I didn't. Most mothers's do not.

Oh, well, I'm sure some think there is a choice.

But to the ones that are in it, really in it...they don't.

I had a choice in making her, but not how she turned out. Not how God thought she would be most perfect.

My, how long it's taken me to realize that she is just as she should be. Perfect in every way.

My perfect little girl.

We speak a perfect language only we understand.

She walks a perfect way that only I know when she'll fall.

She loves me so perfectly, sometimes I think I might burst from it.

One day, even she'll want to leave. She'll want to spread her wings in her perfect Betsy way. And, I will have to let her go.

And it will hurt.

More than with the other 3.

And the thing is, they'll understand why it will be harder.

Those other 3 are my hero. They know so much more than the average kid their age. And they didn't have a choice either. But I'm thankful. Thankful they know that kind of love, tolerance, empathy.

They let me love her the way I need to, and they get it. Even at their tender age. They know without being told why. Sure, they will resent me, or Betsy one day, for something, at some point for having to be so patient, and lenient. But it will be fleeting.

After 7 long years, I think I'm starting to get it. Why Betsy is all mine.

And the answere is simple...because she is supposed to be.

That's it.

Whatever I learn from it, no matter what I decide to so with those lessons, it's just 'to be'.

It's exactly what I needed exactly right now.

Maybe that doesn't make sense to anyone but me.

And that's okay.

Maybe it shouldn't make sense to anyone but me.

And her perfection is what I will always need right at that very moment