to whom it may concern.

I hate exercising. I loathe it. I detest it from the depth of my core with a fiery rage I cannot control. But...

real quick.

I wanted to show you these great, little letters that I decoupaged today.

I am going to do something neat with them (hopefully) that I will show you later.

But, I thought they were soooo cute, I wanted to share them with you today.

I am really happy with how they turned out, and even happier with how cheap the project was.

Hope you like-sy!

Go play!

a little birdie told me...

...that spring in St. Louis sucks! One day, 70+. The next, cold with a threat of snow. What the fudge? All I can say is, I feel sorry for my little robin. She has been working so hard, and now, she has to freeze. I keep wondering if her beautiful, little eggs will make it. Natural selection sucks, too. Ugh, don't get me started on that one. Don't even get me started!

Peace out!

ahhhhhh, help me...

I'm messing around with different ideas for Jake's Communion invitation. I'm not sure what I'm going for, but this is the latest outcome. One version is bright, and one is muted. HELP! I don't know which one I like, or if I like them at all. I am so confused. I know, in the end, no one really cares what the invitation looks like, but I do. It's my thing, man. Let me know what you think or if you have any other ideas!

Thanks!

peas and eggs?

**WARNING to Mom & Jill: you may not want to read this!***

This is the longest time in almost nine years that I have gone without being pregnant. The longest time I have gone without even trying to get pregnant. The longest time that I have gone without having to prepare for a birth, recover from a birth, or to breastfeed. And, for all intents and purposes, I will never be pregnant again. I did something that I shouldn't have done after Rosie was born. Immediately after. I had my tubes tied. I am now sterile, and unable to bring more life into the world. At least, without serious help from modern science.

I am really very lucky and blessed. I was able to have 4 incredible children. They were all conceived easily and without much effort. We would want a baby, we got pregnant, I gave birth, we brought the baby home. Repeat. Repeat. With the exception of Rosie. There was a bit more effort with her. We tried for about 9 months when I finally conceived, only to miscarry 10 weeks later. Another 6-7 weeks after that, we made our lil' Ro with the help of a low dose of clomid, but still, no biggy. Like I said, blessed!

So, why on God's green Earth would I want to have more? I certainly can't answer that. I wish I could. Jake wants more, too. In fact, he didn't want me to get a tubal. If I remember correctly, his mantra that morning was, "Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?". I often think that if my tubes weren't tied, I would have already been pregnant by now. Who knows?

There are a gagillion reasons why we shouldn't...space, money, stress, etc. But, the way I see it, another little guy or gal cancels all of those stupid reasons out. I will go back to work which helps the money issue. Our house may be small, but we have a few things up our sleeve to help there, including saving for a move in the next several years, and I've always suffered from stress, even sans kids. I can safely say that with each child I learn to balance more, and let go more.

I know this sounds like my case to convince the world, particularly, my parents and my sister, but it's really not. I take care of my own, and in the end, it's really no one's business other than, Jake's and mine. We pay our bills, have nice things, go on vacations, have a nice, clean, warm home, we don't have debt or car payments, we don't go "clubbin'", do drugs, or drink excessively. Our kids are all "normal", relatively speaking, and we've even survived life after Betsy's prognosis.

The thing is, I've always thought that I would have 5-6 kiddos. I just don't feel "done". Which I'm sure is because of my preconceived notion of what my ideal family would be. Darn it! There's that mind over matter crap! But, that little issue of doneness remains. Some people want lots of money, fancy cars and clothes, exotic lifestyles. Me? Call me Octomom 2. (With many stark differences. Priorities being one.) What to do, what to do?!

I don't know how any of this will play out. I'm not sure anything, if at all, will come of it. But, I assure you there is maternal unrest, that I simply cannot shake, brewing in my woman parts.

Sorry you had to suffer through that!

I just really don't know what to say...

Well, I LOVE you, Petey!

inspiration.

I am constantly finding inspiration everywhere. Clothes, food, photography, art, nature. You name it. I will find something inspiring about it. A stand mixer can be beautiful, an egg in a nest, a bowl of peppermint ice cream. I am not quite sure what I am being inspired to do, yet. Inspired to live a better life, learn to notice the small things and to appreciate them with a full heart, and to know that God is behind it all. All of this leads me to think of how much beauty there is all around us everyday. Beauty we don't always choose to see. Beauty that we most certainly take for granted. A child's smile, a handshake, all the green popping out of the ground. All inspiring, all beautiful, all happiness. And, let's face it...we are all only as inspired, beautiful, and happy as we decide to be.

Choose inspiration, beauty, & happiness!

Say what? Where?

Juicy Couture.

Are you kidding me?

Typically,
I don't like anything referred to as "juicy" aside from ripe fruit and certain cuts of meat.

So, it seems only natural that I am not a big supporter of Juicy Couture. Tweens with a word sprawled across their rear that should only be used to describe a fresh plucked plum or succulent roast chicken is inappropriate, to say the least.

But, I am hopelessly in love with the swimsuit above. It would be flattering on just about anyone (shirring, skirt, need I say more). It is also classic, timeless, and just so darn cute. It comes in five super fabulous colors (my favorite is above), and best of all, it doesn't claim to be "juicy" anywhere but on the tag inside.

Now, that's "j-j-j-juicy".

take your time swimsuit season!