My honesty philosophy.

I am not an idiot. Really. I know that, all too often, honest people are thought of as abrasive or bit*#y people. I, however, respect and admire honest individuals. There is integrity attached to honesty. I am honest. I am not truthful to the point of meanness or insults. I would not come out and tell you that your outfit is ugly or that you slurp soup like a cow, but I do tell the truth when asked, or if you have a piece of spinach in your teeth or your skirt is tucked into the back of your underpants. I do not bother myself with people that I don't click with. Life is, certainly, too short. (For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever HATED anyone in my whole life.)

However, I am always cordial and have no problem with being in social situations with people I do not, particularly, care for. First and foremost, it is polite. It is the classy thing to do. I was raised right. AND, I have never read a rule or law written that says we all have to be best friends. Furthermore, I would not want someone who didn't have fond feelings for me to force themselves to like me. Just as there are people I don't mesh with, I am certain, without a doubt, that there are people who find me off putting. That is life. I am okay with that.

Ignoring the truth doesn't make it any LESS true. Pretending there are no unpleasantries in the world does not make them go away. In fact, I think the opposite. When no one practices honesty, to simply declare the truth out loud, I think the truth festers and becomes infectious in a disastrous way. Cataclysmic. Explosive. Damaging. Additionally, what appears to be a truth for one person, is not the same truth for another. Isn't it Philosophy 101 that says there are no absolute truths (unchanging in all times and places)? As a Catholic, I disagree, but we are talking philosophy here. This is where honesty is vital. Airing out the dirty business. More often than not, a simple exchange of personal truths clears the air.

But...
some people continue to avoid. Avoiders are in constant mistrust of others, paranoid that they are disliked, they need to be certain that they will be accepted in order to join in social activities, they are hypersensitive to criticism or rejection, they have problems in occupational settings, and live in a fixed fantasy. Avoiders like to be enabled, so they feel safe and loved.Hey, if you don't believe me, go here. Avoidance is usually a disguise for underlying problems, but that is a topic for another day and time. Sadly, I think avoiders of honesty, of unpleasantness, miss out on a true life experience. They are setting themselves up for more disappointment than necessary.

And, believe you me, disappointment happens. Honest.

PS I am thinking about teaching philosophy or psychology, what do you think?

Paging Dr. Grebe, Dr. Grebe...