15 July 2009

D. R. A. M. A.

As much as I detest any unnecessary drama in my life, I undoubtedly, and seemingly, sadistically am drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. I let it invade me. Like an infectious disease, nipping away at the few strong, healthy cells I have left. And, then it just takes over. Just like that it rears its viral head and wins.

I don't make drama...it finds me. It seeks me out. And, in drama's defense, it must not be hard. Do I have an 'X' on my back? I am on some super-secret 'How to find drama' map? Is my sanity the prize for a drama sweepstakes? For the love of Cheez-its!

Here's the strangest thing; when the big 'd' decides it's done with me, it's done. Simple as that. No sign of its intrusion, no evidence of its untimely welcome. Nothin'. Those are peaceful times. Times when I focus on enjoying all of the small bits. The kids' smiles, a foot rub from Big Jake, a visit with my folks, or the pool with my sis. This is what I should be able to relish in at ALL times, not just when my head is free and clear.

Then, without warning, it's back. It waits until my strength has returned, until I am wrapped in the safety of the mundane, the quiet of the normal.

I am the kind of person that, under normal circumstances, resigns myself to the cordial, neutral amity that even those who don't always see eye to eye can share in a mutually mature exchange. In other words, I am completely okay with not 'meshing' with someone. We all weren't made to be compatible, that's life. But, can't we all just exist? Together? Of course there will be people that leave a sour taste in my mouth, but I don't hate anyone, and most likely, never will. But, with some rational thinking, and an ounce of perspective (seriously, click on it, because I am pretty sure some of us have forgotten what it is), I can exist, on some civilized level with just about anyone.

And, I now, I want to eat my soup and soft pretzel!

Thanks for lending an ear!

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