29 April 2009

I will hold her hand. Forever.

So, we're leaving Betsy's school at pick-up this afternoon, and her new thing is to wait for all of the other kids and walk out in a "gang". This is a huge thing for her. She is wanting to be like all of the other kiddos, and just wants to do what they're doing.

Her social butterfly has come out of its cocoon.

Well, today, all of the kids decided to hold hands in a chain while walking to the door. Betsy desperately wanted to hold one of their hands. She made several attempts to grab both of the kids on the ends, but to no avail. Finally, momma bird stepped in.

"Why don't one of you hold Betsy's hand?", I say.

The response was like a dagger to my heart.

"Betsy will get too strong. So, I don't want to hold her hand."


It's true that Betsy has low muscle tone, but her strength is super. Sometimes she gets carried away by it, and takes down innocent, unassuming victims. In this case, I know she wouldn't have (it's usually when she is having a meltdown). But, it stung to hear, nonetheless.

I try not to be too sensitive about these things, but it was a stark reminder of what is to come. I forget that she is 'different'. To our family, she is normal. To the outside world, not so much. It is human nature to shy away from what is different (and to shy away from someone that can flatten you in an instant). I know that, but I started thinking about when she's 15. Will someone sit with her at lunch? Or will they recoil because she might drool? How about 30? Will people turn their cart into another aisle to avoid us because she is screaming (her sound of happiness/joy)?

It is too much for me to think about. Alas, I can think of nothing else. I'm blue.



  1. bethy, we have too many kids and friends' kids between us for betsy not to have someone to sit with at lunch. (besides who will want to sit with bossy kate and crazy sam if you get right down to it?) and as for the squealing thing... there are nice people in this world too. some may not want to be in the same isle with her, but others will and will smile and might even say something. further more, who wanted to be in the gosh darn store with kate today when she was throwing herself on the ground screaming, "i want it!". i know it's hard... take one day at a time... and just think she could be rosie!
    -jilly bean

  2. oh yeah... cheer up charlie! (sing it like in charlie in the chocolate factory)

  3. I know as a mother I would have been a wreck and as you as my friend I feel for you. HOWEVER......... those are the traits that I love about Betsy that when she has you she makes sure you know how much fun she is haveing and how much she loves you. My days are always brighter when I see Betsy. I have a feeling that her and Gwenny are going to be VERY good friends, heck move to rockwood... I am sure no one will want to sit with Gwenny because she will try to steal all there food!!!! Love ya girl! Mrs. Lewis


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