The week leading up to Rosie's 3rd birthday party is full of preparation.
The grocery list, the decorations, the last minute sewing, the cleaning, the cooking.
I still can't believe she's almost 3.
Or better yet, that Jake will turn 9 in May, Pete's 7, and Betsy's 5 and off to kindergarten in the fall.
Time is not my friend.
Where does it go?
The second you have a reason to slow it down, it whizzes by.
Murphey's Law, I suppose.
as a mother, there are so many moments that it's hard to 'be here now'.
Laundry, appointments, errands, cleaning, nose & butt wiping.
You get swept away with the 'need tos/have tos'.
This time should be about he 'want tos'.
Life's unfair, but it is what it is.
P.S. Erin H., I hope you're reading this today...I accidentally 'lost' your original email about Betsy's bed and cannot seem to retrieve it. So, here is the link to where I got the pallet bed idea and how it's made. CLICK HERE. Ashley used a foam mattress, but we used an actual twin mattress which required some triming of the pallets. We got the pallets from 'Home Depot', as well as the hardware and casters. We, also, put little rubber caps on all of the exposed screws for safety. Fortunately, before I even saw this bed on Ashley's blog I had 2 old, awesome doors in my garage that I dug out of someone's trash. But, you could try a salvage yard or buy a new door and antique it. Good luck!!!
On Saturday, I had the unique opportunity to go and see Pauly D of 'Jersey Shore' fame spin some tunes here located in Ameristar Casino & Hotel. It was with a fabulous group of fellow hot mommas, including, Mrs.Lewis.
I got to dress-up, complete with make-up that I rarely wear. Have yummy mozzarella wedges, a cosmo, and dance for a couple of hours.
But, alas, I am old. I am a mother (yes, mom, a mother). I like being at home.
I can't say I've even ever been to a place like this, even when I was young. And, let's just say, some of the clientele was a bit rough around the edges. Some girls near us tried to create some 'tension'. I didn't think that stuff really happened in real life. Who is that unhappy and miserable? There was another group next to us that was a bit more my speed, and they, too, were getting annoyed. We weren't alone.
My better judgement kicked in and I told Mrs.Lewis I had to get out of there. So, while the other part of our entourage waited to get a photo of Pauly D in the flesh, Mrs.Lewis and I went to the seafood restaurant closer to the hotel and had Diet Cokes and talked. When that restaurant closed, we ventured into the casino itself and had more pop (which is free in the casino and fountainy and cold, score) and sat at the slots.
We weren't playing, just talking and laughing some more, while we watched some man blow through $100, at least, on slots all while not even watching the screen. I guess he just looked up when it buzzed and rang. How sad.
The other ladies texted us and said they were ready, and off we went to meet up with 'Scooter Guy'. A fabulous operation that picks you up and drives you and your car safely home when a designated driver is needed, and more importantly, took me right to my doorstep. My friend, Kelly, has a membership. Too bad I could've driven us to Chicago and back with all my Diet Coke. Although, I would've had to make about 163 restroom stops. Better to plan on the safe side.
So, overall, I would say, I'm not cut out for such escapades. Did you read that, Mom? You know I know this, but it is okay to venture out into the world, guilt-free, once in a blue moon. No one was hurt, I was up bright and early on Sunday while Big Jake worked on the steps (which is another story for another day). The 'Too-much-fun Police' aren't going to arrest me. I'm sure of it. In fact, something I've always known was reinforced like a nail in my heart that night...I like being home. Love it, in fact. It's the only place I fell I truly belong. I could stay home for days on end without going anywhere. Not even Target. Seriously.
I am a wife and mother, first and foremost. FOREVER. And, I must be doing something right, because my love of home and family is evident in my children. They love being here together, too. Both boys have told me so on several different occassions. It's warm, cozy, stable, secure, and full of love.
So, to my own dear, sweet, mother (from whom I've gotten my self-rightous/opinionated gene from)...
There is nothing you can say to me that I haven't already thought. Although I am more social than you are and have different interests, be confident that you have raised me right. And that doesn't mean that I do everything exactly the way you would, but that I am a good and solid person. And you are largely responsible. I love you, and wished that you had gone on one or two adventures in your heyday.
If I wasn't officially retired from nightclub life, I would've taken you.
ps I've given up Facebook for Lent (maybe indefinitely), so if you need to contact me...call, email, or comment. :)
I read a lovely article in 'Parade' magazine this weekend by Harlan Coben. It was all about Jerry Seinfeld, his life, and his family.
It was refreshing to say the least.
Here are some highlights:
" 'I love it (having kids). I love having a family and kids, and all the madness. There is no aspect of it I don't like. Even when it's horrible, I love it. I didn't realize how tired of single life I was and how ready for married life.' "
"Although his own children obviously want for nothing, Seinfeld works hard not to be too indulgent. He bemoans the way some people cater to their children's every whim. Seinfeld has three rules of parenting, what he calls 'the poison Ps.' The first is Praise-'We tell our kids, 'Great Job!' too much', he says. The second is Problem-solving-'We refuse to let our children have problems. Problem-solving is the most important skill to develop for success in life, and we for some reason can't stand it if our kids have a situation that they need to 'fix'. Let them struggle-it's a gift.'
"Just as he's explaining the third P-'giving your child too much pleasure'- a woman comes in the deli with her three young daughters and buys them all huge cookies. 'Can you believe this?' Seinfeld says, gesturing like his TV counterpart used to. 'It's 5:30pm.-when will they have dinner? At 8?'
"So why does he think we treat our kids like that? His eyes light up. 'Do you want to hear my latest theory?' he asks. 'It's a little far-fetched.' He leans in and explains how children today aren't as innocent as they used to be. 'We feel so guilty for destroying that innocence-which is what we did-so we're now trying to repair that by creating perfect childhoods for our children.' He laughs, but he's serious at the same time. 'The reason we overdo it so much is because we feel so bad about it.
"Seinfeld also believes that it's best to teach children by example. 'Kids are not going to do what you tell them to do or think like you tell them to think,' he says. 'Kids are watching how you deal with the waiter or that handyman, and they are probably more likely to imitate you.'"
"His dad's death at age 66, when Jerry was 30, was the first great loss of Seinfeld's life. Did it crush him? Surprisingly, after a brief pause, he says no.
"'I tend to accept life as it is,' he says. 'I'm not one of those 'Life isn't faif' people. I tend to accept whatever the limits are, whatever the rules are.' He sits back. His love for his father is evident, but no more evident of the basic fact that the man is no longer around..."
For me, it is so nice to know that someone like silly Jerry Seinfeld has a very realistic outlook on parenting and life.
I mean, I know of people who can't even keep their checkbook straight, or figure out that purchasing groceries is more important than getting their hair done. And these are individuals from my generation. Over indulging is such a tragedy. It makes for adults who can't seem to function in the real world, and worse yet, aren't equipped to parent their own children. If you're taught to be entitiled to everything as a child, one of two things seems to happen...you still feel entitled when you're grown putting yourself before everyone else, including your own children, or you pass the same mentality to your children reapeating the cycle all over again. I've witnessed it, and it is truly sad.
That being said, I'm not a perfect person or parent. I do have a pretty good self-awareness. I know when I'm lacking and in what areas, and I try to better myself. Typically, I don't need to be told these things by my husband, or mother, or father, or sister, or my kids. And, for that self-awareness, I thank my parents, who let us solve our own problems, who didn't over-indulge us, who SHOWED us they loved us with acitons not things, who taught us you deserve nothing without hardwork and determination, and even then nothing is gauranteed, who always led from an example and not just words, and instilled their morals and values into us by their examples.
Thank you! I hope to be half the parents you are. I think I'll be successful, even then.
Happy, healthy, contributing members to society...that's all I can hope for.